Don't get sick.
I spent the last 6 days in a stupor,gunked up on Tylenol Severe Cold & Flu, Amoxicillin, Proventil, Xopenex, and box after box of Kleenex. A couple of Vicodin would have made things better, but I have sworn to only use them when my back flares up. I have been engaged in my annual bout with bacterial bronchitis and sinusitis and it could not have come at a worse time.
My girlfriend and hopefully-soon-to-be-fiancee had emergency surgery to have an ovary removed last Sunday afternoon, and I started showing symptoms while she was in surgery. By the end of the night, I was crashing hard and couldn't spend any time with her for recovery. Pneumonia is the primary cincern, post-surgery, which means I needed to vamoose PDQ. I drove from Visalia to Rocklin Monday afternoon and haven't been out of bed since, excepting to go to the bathroom and stumble into the kitchen for the minimal sustenence my stomach could handle.
It is now the following Sunday, and I am just beginning to get strength back. My brain is finally clearing the fog; this illness leaves me in a vegetative state, with only baseline cognitive function. Oh well.
It has been a while since I blogged and I need to get back into the habit of writing. A week away from thinking means I need to rehab my writing skills. Until the next...
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
One of those quizzes that still makes me laugh, must have been in a mood that night.
1. Where did you take your profile pic?
--While filming V for Vendetta with Hugo Weaving.
2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
--What are YOU wearing right now?
3. What is your current problem?
--Hey man, what's YOUR problem? Don't start in with me, bub.
4. What makes you the most happy?
--When I meet people like me, who don't feel that humans have any inherent worth.
5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
--"21 Things I Want in a Lover" by Alanis
6. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
--Herman Goering; Elisha Otis's first elevator is installed at 488 Broadway, New York City, in 1857.
7. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
--Jeremiah WAS a bullfrog.
8. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
--I get a few from time to time.
9. Do you speak any other languages?
--Rudimentary Ebonics, yo.
10. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
--Yeah, but I was pissed because he had the lane and should have taken the shot.
11. Do you ever watch MTV?
--Is that still on?
12. What's something that really annoys you?
--Endless quizzes and being told that there is someone else.
Chapter 1:
===============
1. Middle name:
--Jehosephat
2. Nickname(s):
--Asshole, cockknocker, douche, Susan
3. Current location:
--The ocean (get it? current?)
4. Eye color?
--Eye candy!
Chapter 2:
===============
1. Do you get along with your parent(s):
--Well enough, but I get along better with your mom.
2.Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
--Yes and no.
3. Do you have any siblings?:
--I call my friend Hiran a brother, but not in the family way. In the black person way--I think it means more.
4. Married? For how long?
--No thanks.
Chapter 3: Favorites
===============
1. Ice Cream:
--Gold Medal Ribbon and Mint Chip
2. Season
--Turn, turn, turn
3. Shampoo/conditioner:
--Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh really, fool? Really! Stop looking at me, swan...
Chapter 4: Do You...
==============
1. Dance in the shower?
--If by dancing you mean masturbating, then yes.
2. Do you write on your hand?
--No, silly, I write on museum exhibits!
3. Call people back?
--Do I call people black? What? Oh, sorry, misread that one. Yes, sometimes.
4. Believe in love?
--I believe in magic, in a young girl's heart.
6. Any bad habits?
--No thanks, I have plenty.
7. Any mental health issues?
--My clothes are on color coded hangers and must be hung, by category, from light to dark. Also, I wash my hands 22 times and occasionally yell obscenities at midgets. Pretty normal, really.
Chapter 5: Have You..
===============
1. Broken a bone?
Yep. A few of mine, too.
2. Sprained stuff?
--Cetainly.
3. Had physical therapy?
--Is that what you kids are calling it these days?
4. Gotten stitches?
--Stitches was my dog.
5. Taken painkillers?
--The more, the better.
6. Gone scuba diving/snorkling?
--Muff diving count?
7. Had your heart broken?
--Oh God, yes.
8. Thrown up at the dentist?
--True story. I flipped backward in the dentsist chair once, scared shitless, and kicked the "doctor" in the mouth on the way over. Knocked out one of his teeth. I was 8 or 9. Later found out he lost his license for doing illegal stuff--cheap fillings, substandard practices, etc.
9. Sworn in front of your parents?
--I swore not to.
10. Had detention?
--Unless I was lied to, I set the East Union record for most hours of detention to still graduate. My final tally was in the 400's, not counting Saturday schools (of which I had plenty).
Chapter 6: Who/What was the last...
===============
1. Movie(s)?
--"Harry Potter and the Hot No-Longer-Under-18 Chick So It's OK to Masturbate To Her Now." I think that's the title of the new one.
2. Three people that you texted?
--Marcie, Lauren, Laura
3. Person you called?
--Marcie
4. Person you hugged?
--Lauren
5. Person you tackled?
--O.J. Simpson.
6. Person you talked to on IM?
--I do not use IM. It's fer fags.
7. Thing you touched?
--I know you are expecting a dirty answer here, but the truth is my penis.
8. Thing you ate?
--Virgin cashews. I busted that nut.
9. Thing you drank?
--Two guesses. It rhymes with "pyatt depsi."
10. Thing you said?
--'Sup, douche. Hola, douche. What's crackin', douche?
Chapter 7: Other.
===========
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
--Yes, everyone who was born before me.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
--The season finale of Grey's Anatomy. Fucking cancer AND a bus crash.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
--I write in Times New Roman.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
--Roast Beef Curtains.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
--Not professionally.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
--Oh hells yes. Mad skillz, nigga.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
--Nooooo. Who would EVER use sarcasm?
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
--In a jar next to my bed.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
--They don't make Bungee cord that strong yet.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
--Probably wheat.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
--Fuck no. That's how I roll.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?
--1138
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
--That vapid look in their eyes that says, "I don't know shit."
15. RED OR PINK?
--Hehe. You tell me.
16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
--Stacs. No question.
17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
--Trick question. I'm not wearing pants. But my shoes are white.
18. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO ABOUT TOMORROW?
--Nothing. Tomorrow is an illusion, time is simply a flawed form of recordkeeping for the mindless who fail to realize that time does not move. All "time" is momentary, which means incalculable. What we consider past, present, and future happen simultaneously, culminating in the moment to which all illusions manifest minus causality.
19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
--"The ceiling fan.
20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
--If I were a crayon, I'd be plaid.
21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
--Favorite does smell. Like a Mexican. Or a sweat-stained bra.
22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
--Again, Marcie.
23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
--I do. Probably boned her.
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
--When I was 10 my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told them I wanted a watch. They let me.
25. HAIR COLOR?
--88% dark chocolate.
26. EYE COLOR?
--White with some black and brown.
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
--Not on purpose.
28. FAVORITE FOOD?
--You guessed it, vagina.
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
--Oh come on, really? Rub and tug with full release, please.
30. LAST TV SHOW YOU WATCHED?
--X-Files, season 1
31. SUMMER OR WINTER?
--Both good names.
32. HUGS OR KISSES?
--Both. Hugs with reach arounds. Sometimes, mommies and daddies give each other a special hug. And that's where puppies come from.
33. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
--Least likely to have a life.
34. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
--Billy Mays. He died for only $12.99. In fact, just for bieng one of the first 100 callers, I'm going to double the offer and say that Michael Jackson will also not be taking this quiz.
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
--Atlas Shrugged for the unpteenth time. The greatest book written on American soil by a Romanian-born, female author in 1957.
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
--Mouse menstrual blood. Yeah, I went there. You want to start something?
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
--Nothing.
38. FAVORITE SOUND(S):
--I'm making it right now.
39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
--Stones have the lead. Current score: Stones 4 - Beatles 2. Stay tuned.
40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
--Got me.
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
--I have a special purpose...
42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
--More important is where I was born again! Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior? I'd like to leave you with a complimentary copy of our magazine, Watchtower.
43. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
--You can never go back.
44. WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER?
--Yoda. Dude is a badass.
45. WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST GOAL/DREAM?
--Biggest goal came at the end of the 1996 Stanley Cup Finals. Uwe Krupp scores in thrid overtime for the 1-0 victory. Roy wins his second Cup, his first with the Colorado Avalanche, after allowing only 5 goals total in the four-game sweep of the Florida Panthers including a 63 save shutout in the final game.
--While filming V for Vendetta with Hugo Weaving.
2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
--What are YOU wearing right now?
3. What is your current problem?
--Hey man, what's YOUR problem? Don't start in with me, bub.
4. What makes you the most happy?
--When I meet people like me, who don't feel that humans have any inherent worth.
5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
--"21 Things I Want in a Lover" by Alanis
6. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
--Herman Goering; Elisha Otis's first elevator is installed at 488 Broadway, New York City, in 1857.
7. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
--Jeremiah WAS a bullfrog.
8. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
--I get a few from time to time.
9. Do you speak any other languages?
--Rudimentary Ebonics, yo.
10. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
--Yeah, but I was pissed because he had the lane and should have taken the shot.
11. Do you ever watch MTV?
--Is that still on?
12. What's something that really annoys you?
--Endless quizzes and being told that there is someone else.
Chapter 1:
===============
1. Middle name:
--Jehosephat
2. Nickname(s):
--Asshole, cockknocker, douche, Susan
3. Current location:
--The ocean (get it? current?)
4. Eye color?
--Eye candy!
Chapter 2:
===============
1. Do you get along with your parent(s):
--Well enough, but I get along better with your mom.
2.Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
--Yes and no.
3. Do you have any siblings?:
--I call my friend Hiran a brother, but not in the family way. In the black person way--I think it means more.
4. Married? For how long?
--No thanks.
Chapter 3: Favorites
===============
1. Ice Cream:
--Gold Medal Ribbon and Mint Chip
2. Season
--Turn, turn, turn
3. Shampoo/conditioner:
--Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh really, fool? Really! Stop looking at me, swan...
Chapter 4: Do You...
==============
1. Dance in the shower?
--If by dancing you mean masturbating, then yes.
2. Do you write on your hand?
--No, silly, I write on museum exhibits!
3. Call people back?
--Do I call people black? What? Oh, sorry, misread that one. Yes, sometimes.
4. Believe in love?
--I believe in magic, in a young girl's heart.
6. Any bad habits?
--No thanks, I have plenty.
7. Any mental health issues?
--My clothes are on color coded hangers and must be hung, by category, from light to dark. Also, I wash my hands 22 times and occasionally yell obscenities at midgets. Pretty normal, really.
Chapter 5: Have You..
===============
1. Broken a bone?
Yep. A few of mine, too.
2. Sprained stuff?
--Cetainly.
3. Had physical therapy?
--Is that what you kids are calling it these days?
4. Gotten stitches?
--Stitches was my dog.
5. Taken painkillers?
--The more, the better.
6. Gone scuba diving/snorkling?
--Muff diving count?
7. Had your heart broken?
--Oh God, yes.
8. Thrown up at the dentist?
--True story. I flipped backward in the dentsist chair once, scared shitless, and kicked the "doctor" in the mouth on the way over. Knocked out one of his teeth. I was 8 or 9. Later found out he lost his license for doing illegal stuff--cheap fillings, substandard practices, etc.
9. Sworn in front of your parents?
--I swore not to.
10. Had detention?
--Unless I was lied to, I set the East Union record for most hours of detention to still graduate. My final tally was in the 400's, not counting Saturday schools (of which I had plenty).
Chapter 6: Who/What was the last...
===============
1. Movie(s)?
--"Harry Potter and the Hot No-Longer-Under-18 Chick So It's OK to Masturbate To Her Now." I think that's the title of the new one.
2. Three people that you texted?
--Marcie, Lauren, Laura
3. Person you called?
--Marcie
4. Person you hugged?
--Lauren
5. Person you tackled?
--O.J. Simpson.
6. Person you talked to on IM?
--I do not use IM. It's fer fags.
7. Thing you touched?
--I know you are expecting a dirty answer here, but the truth is my penis.
8. Thing you ate?
--Virgin cashews. I busted that nut.
9. Thing you drank?
--Two guesses. It rhymes with "pyatt depsi."
10. Thing you said?
--'Sup, douche. Hola, douche. What's crackin', douche?
Chapter 7: Other.
===========
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
--Yes, everyone who was born before me.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
--The season finale of Grey's Anatomy. Fucking cancer AND a bus crash.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
--I write in Times New Roman.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
--Roast Beef Curtains.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
--Not professionally.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
--Oh hells yes. Mad skillz, nigga.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
--Nooooo. Who would EVER use sarcasm?
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
--In a jar next to my bed.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
--They don't make Bungee cord that strong yet.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
--Probably wheat.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
--Fuck no. That's how I roll.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?
--1138
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
--That vapid look in their eyes that says, "I don't know shit."
15. RED OR PINK?
--Hehe. You tell me.
16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
--Stacs. No question.
17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
--Trick question. I'm not wearing pants. But my shoes are white.
18. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO ABOUT TOMORROW?
--Nothing. Tomorrow is an illusion, time is simply a flawed form of recordkeeping for the mindless who fail to realize that time does not move. All "time" is momentary, which means incalculable. What we consider past, present, and future happen simultaneously, culminating in the moment to which all illusions manifest minus causality.
19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
--"The ceiling fan.
20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
--If I were a crayon, I'd be plaid.
21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
--Favorite does smell. Like a Mexican. Or a sweat-stained bra.
22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
--Again, Marcie.
23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
--I do. Probably boned her.
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
--When I was 10 my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told them I wanted a watch. They let me.
25. HAIR COLOR?
--88% dark chocolate.
26. EYE COLOR?
--White with some black and brown.
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
--Not on purpose.
28. FAVORITE FOOD?
--You guessed it, vagina.
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
--Oh come on, really? Rub and tug with full release, please.
30. LAST TV SHOW YOU WATCHED?
--X-Files, season 1
31. SUMMER OR WINTER?
--Both good names.
32. HUGS OR KISSES?
--Both. Hugs with reach arounds. Sometimes, mommies and daddies give each other a special hug. And that's where puppies come from.
33. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
--Least likely to have a life.
34. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
--Billy Mays. He died for only $12.99. In fact, just for bieng one of the first 100 callers, I'm going to double the offer and say that Michael Jackson will also not be taking this quiz.
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
--Atlas Shrugged for the unpteenth time. The greatest book written on American soil by a Romanian-born, female author in 1957.
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
--Mouse menstrual blood. Yeah, I went there. You want to start something?
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
--Nothing.
38. FAVORITE SOUND(S):
--I'm making it right now.
39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
--Stones have the lead. Current score: Stones 4 - Beatles 2. Stay tuned.
40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
--Got me.
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
--I have a special purpose...
42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
--More important is where I was born again! Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior? I'd like to leave you with a complimentary copy of our magazine, Watchtower.
43. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
--You can never go back.
44. WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER?
--Yoda. Dude is a badass.
45. WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST GOAL/DREAM?
--Biggest goal came at the end of the 1996 Stanley Cup Finals. Uwe Krupp scores in thrid overtime for the 1-0 victory. Roy wins his second Cup, his first with the Colorado Avalanche, after allowing only 5 goals total in the four-game sweep of the Florida Panthers including a 63 save shutout in the final game.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
San Dimas High School football RULES!!!
Friday's event came and left in a blur. Five hours ended in what seemd like minutes, and the event was over before I had said hello to many. Saturday night was different. I sit here, a mere hour after having left, and feel as though I have missed yet another part of my life. There are few people I have been close to from our class, some for many years, other for a few months; even fewer are those whom I have called friend at all. Still, I can't help but feel that so many whose lives have intersected as the result of high school are inextricably bound, though not as survivors but comrades. There are lives I wish I could have been a part of long after mortar boards and gowns were lost. There are lives I wish I could have been a part of during university and/or childbearing years. They say that our formative years came long before high school, yet the adults I now wish were my longest friends were not the children I experienced high school with. I realize this sounds dramatic and a bit maudlin, but I regret having been so far removed from the lives of some amazing and fascinating people during these past twenty years. Class of eighty-nine, I recognize you.
Driving back to my hotel this evening, the last night of the East Union reunion, I had the music cranked up pretty loud and the windows down for cool air. Song after song came on, and I began to feel a touch wistful. Something hit me that I maybe hadn't realized before, that things--things which have always held sway over me, things that make my life easier, things that have brought me through stages of euphoria and sadness, things--have never replaced the feelings I thought I had lost. Class of eighty-nine, I have undervalued you.
I am not going to pretend that this is all new, revelatory knowledge, yet the feeling somehow struck a nerve in the car-- possibly because Duran Duran's "Planet Earth" queued on the CD player--that I have generally turned to music in times of crisis rather than to other people. The same can be said of movies, driving, food, and computer. As the song continued, I thought back on my old friend, the last one I ever really confided in, and how I somehow lost touch with humanity shortly after losing touch with her. Although I have gone through the motions with others, I am not positive I have been completely honest. Though this has slowly been changing, it took tonight's events to really remind me of what I have been dreadfully lacking. Class of eighty-nine, I have missed you
Cindy and I talked briefly of a few noticeable commonalities--divorce, breast enhancement, and weight gain--yet these are not the elements that have urged me to write this evening and morning. If I were asked to sum up my experience of this weekend, I would do so with a few key memories--those which will remain forever indelible. Not surprisingly, they all involve hugs. For these I am most grateful. I think what surprises me most is that I entered the reunion with no expectaions and find that had I taken the time to craft any, they would have been thoroughly smashed. Class of eighty-nine, I adore you.
I go forward from this weekend with a vow to remain closer to so many of you and an honest desire to know you better. I am just realizing (and it has been a process) that I need people more now than ever before, and this weekend reunited me with some who I would like to see the rest of time with. Class of nineteen eighty-nine, I am honored to have been a part of something so wonderful, and look forward to the next chapter of our lives.
Class of eighty-nine, I thank you
Driving back to my hotel this evening, the last night of the East Union reunion, I had the music cranked up pretty loud and the windows down for cool air. Song after song came on, and I began to feel a touch wistful. Something hit me that I maybe hadn't realized before, that things--things which have always held sway over me, things that make my life easier, things that have brought me through stages of euphoria and sadness, things--have never replaced the feelings I thought I had lost. Class of eighty-nine, I have undervalued you.
I am not going to pretend that this is all new, revelatory knowledge, yet the feeling somehow struck a nerve in the car-- possibly because Duran Duran's "Planet Earth" queued on the CD player--that I have generally turned to music in times of crisis rather than to other people. The same can be said of movies, driving, food, and computer. As the song continued, I thought back on my old friend, the last one I ever really confided in, and how I somehow lost touch with humanity shortly after losing touch with her. Although I have gone through the motions with others, I am not positive I have been completely honest. Though this has slowly been changing, it took tonight's events to really remind me of what I have been dreadfully lacking. Class of eighty-nine, I have missed you
Cindy and I talked briefly of a few noticeable commonalities--divorce, breast enhancement, and weight gain--yet these are not the elements that have urged me to write this evening and morning. If I were asked to sum up my experience of this weekend, I would do so with a few key memories--those which will remain forever indelible. Not surprisingly, they all involve hugs. For these I am most grateful. I think what surprises me most is that I entered the reunion with no expectaions and find that had I taken the time to craft any, they would have been thoroughly smashed. Class of eighty-nine, I adore you.
I go forward from this weekend with a vow to remain closer to so many of you and an honest desire to know you better. I am just realizing (and it has been a process) that I need people more now than ever before, and this weekend reunited me with some who I would like to see the rest of time with. Class of nineteen eighty-nine, I am honored to have been a part of something so wonderful, and look forward to the next chapter of our lives.
Class of eighty-nine, I thank you
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The weaker sex...
I am torn up. Just needed to write and get some things off my chest. Not really looking for advice, just needed to vent a bit.
I met the most wonderful woman recently--funny, bright, beautiful, witty--the package deal. I have to admit, I have fallen hard. Sometimes you meet someone and it works into a deeper feeling; other times, there is instant chemistry, what is often confused with "love at first sight." I am not so shortsighted as to think I am in love, but the potential is there with her. One of those life changing, tell-stories-about-it-later kind of feelings.
The problem is she likes me, but not enough. She says there is something stopping her from letting go with me, letting herself get attached. She says she like to talk with me, thinks I'm funny, is physically attracted, and feels a strange desire to send me text messages at random times during the day. But there is something, and she doesn't know what it is, that is keeping her from opening up fully.
On the suggestion of a friend, I watched the film "He's Just Not That Into You," and it did not make me happy. I realized that I am GiGi. Jesus. Checking my phone constantly, wanting to do the drop-in at the places she hangs out (which I will NOT allow myself to actually do), all the crazy stuff that goes through the mind when one is smitten, which I am. But I know better than to be a stalker, or a creep, or a hanger-on. But insde, I am going a little nuts.
My thinking is now centered on something from the film, that if I back off, she will find me if she wants me. I am reminded of that trite old saying that begins, If you love something set it free... I just don't know. Both of my boobsicles have suggested I back away, that she will call when she wants to, and leave it at that. Put the ball in her court. It is a logical course, but I don't want to let go. I think I should, but I don't want to. That does make sense somehow.
What's truly crazy is that it has only been three weeks. Granted, we talked online for a while before ever going out, but it has not been long enough for me to feel this way--whatever that means. Still, I have not allowed myself to be regulating. Self-regulating, that is. I have put myself out there: been honest at every step, shared how I was feeling--even the romantic stuff, been ever the gentleman, been repsectful and kind, and shown interest both emotionally and romantically. I feel that I have done everything a man should do when courting, wooing a woman, but it still hurts that it is not reciprocal.
Anyhow, I feel better having written this down. The writing process is calming, and calm sounds really good right now.
Maybe I'll get out a book and do some light reading.
I met the most wonderful woman recently--funny, bright, beautiful, witty--the package deal. I have to admit, I have fallen hard. Sometimes you meet someone and it works into a deeper feeling; other times, there is instant chemistry, what is often confused with "love at first sight." I am not so shortsighted as to think I am in love, but the potential is there with her. One of those life changing, tell-stories-about-it-later kind of feelings.
The problem is she likes me, but not enough. She says there is something stopping her from letting go with me, letting herself get attached. She says she like to talk with me, thinks I'm funny, is physically attracted, and feels a strange desire to send me text messages at random times during the day. But there is something, and she doesn't know what it is, that is keeping her from opening up fully.
On the suggestion of a friend, I watched the film "He's Just Not That Into You," and it did not make me happy. I realized that I am GiGi. Jesus. Checking my phone constantly, wanting to do the drop-in at the places she hangs out (which I will NOT allow myself to actually do), all the crazy stuff that goes through the mind when one is smitten, which I am. But I know better than to be a stalker, or a creep, or a hanger-on. But insde, I am going a little nuts.
My thinking is now centered on something from the film, that if I back off, she will find me if she wants me. I am reminded of that trite old saying that begins, If you love something set it free... I just don't know. Both of my boobsicles have suggested I back away, that she will call when she wants to, and leave it at that. Put the ball in her court. It is a logical course, but I don't want to let go. I think I should, but I don't want to. That does make sense somehow.
What's truly crazy is that it has only been three weeks. Granted, we talked online for a while before ever going out, but it has not been long enough for me to feel this way--whatever that means. Still, I have not allowed myself to be regulating. Self-regulating, that is. I have put myself out there: been honest at every step, shared how I was feeling--even the romantic stuff, been ever the gentleman, been repsectful and kind, and shown interest both emotionally and romantically. I feel that I have done everything a man should do when courting, wooing a woman, but it still hurts that it is not reciprocal.
Anyhow, I feel better having written this down. The writing process is calming, and calm sounds really good right now.
Maybe I'll get out a book and do some light reading.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Where the Heart Is...
Just an exercise to help us both, decribe "home" with as much detail as possible. Bear in mind, that it does not have to be a location, a residence, a dwelling, just that which makes sense.
I will post later as to why this odd request.
I will post later as to why this odd request.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Let's go on holiday
Mommy? Why is there a Santa Claus?
Well, dear, Santa was born on December 25Th, the same as Jesus. Since Jesus came to give the gifts of life and forgiveness to all men, Santa figured he, too, should bring presents to the world.
So he went to Australia and loaded a bunch of Pygmies onto his ships, put them in funny costumes, and called them elves. He taught them to speak English, trained them in carpentry, metalworking and welding, electronics, tailoring, and general contracting and instructed them to build a factory that rivaled even General Motors!
Santa collected the catalogs from Sears, Macy's, Toys R Us, KB Toys, Brookstone, and all the other stores and instructed his elves to make many, many duplicates of all the items therein.
Then he went to the Island of Dr. Moreau and, after some heated negotiation, convinced the good doctor to make 12 flying reindeer. He brought these back to his compound at the North Pole, which coincidentally is not under any country's jurisdiction in regard to labor laws, and placed his animals in a stable (also built by his "elves").
You see, son, Santa needed to bring gifts to all the world, just like Jesus did! That is why Santa does not bring toys to North Korea, Iraq, or Iran.
Santa is a lot like the Easter Bunny. When Jesus was crucified by the Romans and Jews, there was a little rabbit that sat at the foot of the cross. That rabbit was given magical powers by Jesus to lay multi-colored eggs, which he did all over Calvary Hill. Later that week, all the good Christian children came up and found the eggs, placing them in a basket, after which they counted them up to see how many each child had.
Now the rabbit also saw that the cross Jesus was on was made of wood. What color do you think the wood was? That's right it was brown! What else is brown? Chocolate! The very next year, the Easter Bunny not only hid eggs all over Jerusalem for good little Christian children, but in some of them he hid chocolate.
So you see, Christmas and Easter are really about the spirit of giving, and how Jesus came to save the world.
Well, dear, Santa was born on December 25Th, the same as Jesus. Since Jesus came to give the gifts of life and forgiveness to all men, Santa figured he, too, should bring presents to the world.
So he went to Australia and loaded a bunch of Pygmies onto his ships, put them in funny costumes, and called them elves. He taught them to speak English, trained them in carpentry, metalworking and welding, electronics, tailoring, and general contracting and instructed them to build a factory that rivaled even General Motors!
Santa collected the catalogs from Sears, Macy's, Toys R Us, KB Toys, Brookstone, and all the other stores and instructed his elves to make many, many duplicates of all the items therein.
Then he went to the Island of Dr. Moreau and, after some heated negotiation, convinced the good doctor to make 12 flying reindeer. He brought these back to his compound at the North Pole, which coincidentally is not under any country's jurisdiction in regard to labor laws, and placed his animals in a stable (also built by his "elves").
You see, son, Santa needed to bring gifts to all the world, just like Jesus did! That is why Santa does not bring toys to North Korea, Iraq, or Iran.
Santa is a lot like the Easter Bunny. When Jesus was crucified by the Romans and Jews, there was a little rabbit that sat at the foot of the cross. That rabbit was given magical powers by Jesus to lay multi-colored eggs, which he did all over Calvary Hill. Later that week, all the good Christian children came up and found the eggs, placing them in a basket, after which they counted them up to see how many each child had.
Now the rabbit also saw that the cross Jesus was on was made of wood. What color do you think the wood was? That's right it was brown! What else is brown? Chocolate! The very next year, the Easter Bunny not only hid eggs all over Jerusalem for good little Christian children, but in some of them he hid chocolate.
So you see, Christmas and Easter are really about the spirit of giving, and how Jesus came to save the world.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Anatomy Lesson
On a whim, I picked up season one of Grey's Anatomy, just to find out what all the hoopla was about. Little did I know that I would be sucked into a soap opera, the likes of which I have never seen. Am I enjoying this trash only because of the clever casting, or the fact that it takes place in a hospital (since I am on House withdrawal), or simply because I needed some visceral, undemanding escapism?
I don't know, but I am on season three now.
Speaking of House MD: Is it just me, or did this program jump the shark already? Ditching the original interns for Kumar-minus-Harold, the bald jew, and the not-so-hot female interest was a huge mistake. Hugh Laurie should get out when he can, before being forever typecast as the guy who stayed on too long for the paycheck. If they bring in cousin Oliver for season five, the little faith I have left in Fox will have blinked out forever.
I don't know, but I am on season three now.
Speaking of House MD: Is it just me, or did this program jump the shark already? Ditching the original interns for Kumar-minus-Harold, the bald jew, and the not-so-hot female interest was a huge mistake. Hugh Laurie should get out when he can, before being forever typecast as the guy who stayed on too long for the paycheck. If they bring in cousin Oliver for season five, the little faith I have left in Fox will have blinked out forever.
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